All The Cliches Are True

Love yourself. The quarter-life crisis. All good things must come to an end. Time will tell. All's fair in love and war. Okay, maybe not every cliche is true. However, all I know is I have been pretty down for quite some time now. Longer than I cared to admit. I couldn't figure out why exactly, and that was a big part of the problem. I tried filling this void with meaningless things and activities. I couldn't seem to pinpoint one direct cause and it was driving me crazy. Until I finally realized that I was the cause. Making old mistakes, AKA bad choices. I am not an unintelligent woman and I know right from wrong. But if self-sabotage was a sport, I would be a gold medalist. I realized that cliches tend to be true for a reason. I ignored my instincts and ignored my gut when it was telling me all the answers I was searching for. I ignored it all. I chose to keep putting myself in negative spaces, in my own head and outside of it.

Freedom comes when you realize that you do have choices. Every day you make them, be it a big choice or a small one but they will affect your life all the same.

You are responsible for your happiness. As soon as you put the burden of your own happiness on something else or someONE else, you will always lose. Life isn't so much about what happens TO us as it is about what we choose to do about it after. I only feel a responsibility to share this because I know I can't be the only one. Depression is a scary word, so I choose to call it "a good time for self-reflection". You have to face the things you have been ignoring to be able to push through to the other side. The answers will come from you and nothing-or nobody-else.

I tend to be a sore loser when I don't get what I want. This is another thing I have learned I must accept. Life doesn't give you what you want all the time. I don't know about everyone else, but I change my mind like the weather changes in Michigan on a daily basis. So I think it's a good thing that life gives us what we need instead. It is our own responsibility to figure out the rhyme or reason.

Maybe you don't get that job you had an awesome interview with, the one that you prepared two weeks for, or maybe you don't get the white picket fence and little family you always dreamed you would have by age 25.

Focus on what you love and do that instead. Pay attention to the things you think about when you are alone, the things you excel at. That is where your passion lies and it is up to you to chase it, because the best things in life don't come easily. Stay true to yourself and do so unapologetically. People will come and go, things change and life is not a constant. Life is the variable and you are the constant. Bad things will happen and you just find ways to pick up the pieces, one by one. I promise, you won't be sorry if you try. You will only be sorry if you do nothing at all.

I have learned so much about myself in the past 9 months. I made some of the same mistakes over and over, I have a job that I never saw myself doing, let alone loving. I dropped the ball once or twice, but I tried my best and will continue to. I focused on my daughter, myself and my career. I didn't think about dating; finding a man was never on my list of priorities. Another cliche I do not believe, that when you focus on yourself the "right man" will come along. I caught myself starting to believe it, but I don't think there is a "right" man or woman for anyone. Nobody NEEDS someone else to be happy, nor should they hold out and wait for this mythical soulmate that may or may not exist. I believe that people come into our lives to teach us something important, or for us to teach them something important. Some stay for a while and some come and go rather quickly. However, I sure am grateful that life hasn't given me any of the things I thought I wanted. It turns out The Rolling Stones know what's up. You sure as shit can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, that you get what you need.

Amen to that.