Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

If there is one word that bugs me, it is the word should. It is not a word that is commonly used in a positive manner. I should be working out right now. I should have gone to college. I should not have drank an entire bottle of wine all by myself.

There are time when the word should can be used in a good way. When speaking in a hopeful manner about something you intend to do, sure. However it seems that these days we tend to only use that word when we are comparing our lives via social media or to our peers. "I should be getting engaged and having kids by now," or "I should be starting my career by this age," are all examples of the ways the word should manifests itself in our conversations. I often find myself thinking these things and it is exhausting. There is no should, because all we have is right now. If there is something we feel we should be doing, then we need to either do it or tack it on the to-do list for later. Facebook should never be the indicator of success in life. I am finding out that it is okay to not have my dream job at 26, it is okay to be a single mother and live with my parents to save money. Things may not be ideal, but everything works out how it should in time.

There is no guide for how a person is supposed to be living their life, or what milestone is supposed to be accomplished by a certain age. We have to keep in mind that people will never post their failures and struggles on a social platform. That stuff isn't supposed to be plastered across social media anyways, but I still find myself making comparisons.

With that being said, I think it is perfectly okay to drink a whole bottle of wine sometimes, or stay up until 2 a.m. contemplating life, completely certain you are doing everything wrong. I do not believe there is a right or wrong way to live life; we are all just on very different journeys headed to a vast multitude of varying destinations at drastically different paces.

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